The post I really wanted to do...

Today is my Derek's 14th birthday. 14 years ago, I was holding a tiny, skinny amazing little guy. I had no idea what to do with him, but was willing to try anything to make him happy! I wasn't too young... 23... but looking back, I am amazed at what a child I felt like. I suddenly knew nothing!

We had to learn everything together. We learned about sleeping and the lack of, nursing and the pain that can come along with that. We learned of nurses that would rather take the easy road and feed a baby sugar water rather than help a new mother learn how to feed her baby. We learned about jaundice.


But we also learned how sweet those early morning cuddles can be, and the wonder of a cat seeing a baby for the first time... and vice versa. We learned about sweet laughter. We saw parents become grandparents for the first time and the instant adoration of both parties.

And now, we are learning about girlfriends, and new phones, and how much fun 14 can be. I just adore my teenager. My son. I can't imagine my life without having shared all of these first together.May God bless your life, Derek. I pray that you clearly hear His calling for you, and that you always find your peace in His arms.

How content am I?

Contentment. Isn't that where we all strive to be? Why is it so hard to stay there?

It's like the ultimate vacation spot that we all long to go to. When the opportunity comes for us to immediately be transported there with all expenses covered, wouldn't we all jump on it? But what if it doesn't look like what we always thought it would look like? What if we find we are suddenly there? Why do we only linger for a bit before we are off... itching for the next thing... and always looking for something just beyond?

I find this feeling hits me hardest with material things. New clothes, new gadgets, new fabric, etc. Most recently... yesterday... I was hit with the new phone bug. It's been hovering for a year now, but I'd swat it away after dreaming for a bit. Not now, my phone is just fine. Yes, the battery dies at the drop of a hat... and it shuts itself off when it wants to... and seems to be possessed from time to time, but it's fine.

Until yesterday. Suddenly, I couldn't resist any longer. I gave in.I've never owned the nicest phone in the house before. I do love it... don't get me wrong. It's very exciting to have something so nice and new and to have so many options at my fingertips. I won't tell you how many hours I've already spent playing with it and getting it set up "just so". I also won't tell you how many hours of sleep I missed out on last night because of it.

But, the guilt is setting in. Was it necessary? Did it really provide contentment? No. It's just a toy.

We talked tonight of the longing, the groaning that our Spirit gives when that deep thirst can't be quenched. The one that "this world can't satisfy". When will we learn that all the new gadgets and clothes and eating and ... (fill in the blank) can't ever satisfy that longing that we feel when we just need to be with God.

When will we figure out that we just need to be content with what we've got now and enjoy it as we wait patiently for that day...